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Excuse Me/Transcript
up on the school playground. Lupe, Cheech, Michael, Nancy and Duke run by Kyle: for breath pushes Kyle to the ground Cher Leader: Woo-hoo! You're it! pan to Kyle on the ground Kyle: Oh... Lupe/Cheech/Michael/Nancy/Duke: run off Kyle: Scrivener Elf! Take a letter. quickly to Scrivener Elf on a bench, he groans and takes out two different notes in time with the next line Scrivener Elf: Personal business or complaint form? Kyle: What do you think? Scrivener Elf: sigh Complaint. Kyle: To the school board. Dear sirs, I was recently tagged "it" by my school chums. I strongly reject this label and the pointing and the mockery that came with it! Fanboy: by Hi, Kyle! Chum Chum: bounces by Hi, Kyle's Elf! Kyle: What are you two ninnies doing? Fanboy: Next week is Spring Break! to reveal the two bouncing around Kyle with springs attached to their feet Chum Chum: So, we're breaking all our springs. Kyle: Hmm, why don't you bounce yourselves into a room with a ceiling fan? Close-up My Elf and I have notes to write. Chum Chum: Writing before school?!? Fanboy: That sounds like work! Chum Chum: on Kyle's head You need a break. Fanboy: on Kyle's head A Spring Break. Chum Chum: on Kyle's head A Pre-Spring Break. Fanboy and Chum Chum: SPRING BREAK!!! Kyle: Would you two -- bounce him high into the air whoa! Scrivener Elf!! Don't forget to speeeeell cheeeeeeeck! Scrivener Elf: Yeah, on it. the newspaper space... Fanboy: See, Kyle, I told you this was fun. drop down out of the sky Chum Chum: Yeah, look at that smile. to Kyle's face flapping in the wind Kyle: IT'S THE G-FORCE! AARGH!!! bell rings in the distance The altitude is making my ears ring! Fanboy: No, silly, that's the school late bell. Pause Fanboy/Chum Chum/Kyle: realizing THE LATE BELL!!? shot of them falling to earth WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!!! at school... Kyle: Now look, class is half-over! Chum Chum: I prefer to think of it as "half-started". Kyle: Oh, this is bad. We're hopelessly tardy. We have no excuse. What are you doing? Fanboy: I'm writing us a note. Does "tardy" have two G's or just the one? Kyle: You idiot. Mr. Mufflin knows our penmanship, and you're writing on your hand. Fanboy: Well, at least I'm trying. his glove off and throws it out of the scene Where else are we gonna get a note? stop for a moment and realize something. With sneaky looks on their faces, they turn to Scrivener Elf Scrivener Elf: Ah, cursive or print? the classroom... Hank: So, that's the story of my friend, Andy. class stares blankly; cut to Hank as he walks away. Pan to the door; three pairs of eyes peek through the door's window. At warp speed, the three boys come in Fanboy: Maybe he won't notice. a net from nowhere comes up from the floor and kidnaps them! Hank and a goat approach Hank: You'd better have a note to get out of my Late Net! Fanboy/Chum Chum/Kyle: Simultaneously Give him the note! Uh... Urgh! Kyle: Uh, as chance should have it, we do. up a pink note Hank: Just put it on the trident. the note An excuse note, huh? Better be a pretty good one. the note "Please excuse the boys for being late." to the hesitated boys, he continues offscreen "They were knitting tea cozies for elderly ninjas." on him Ninjas, huh? I thought I'd heard everything! But that... to the boys and zoom in on them look on scared. Suddenly... Hank: ...Is the sweetest thing I ever heard! Now, those lucky ninjas can enjoy warm tea after a night of blowing poison darts into their enemies' necks. boys confused as he says this. Tardiness excused! nose Late Net releases them. Fanboy: Oh, that was so easy! Chum Chum: And painless, other than the rope burns and trident pokes. water, and water squirts out of him Kyle: Ooh, I feel so naughty and saucy! We just got away with mischief! zips up to Kyle and they hold both of each others hands. Fanboy: Don't you know what this means? If a note got us out of being late for school, who knows what else your elf could get us out of? a few more seconds, then look down at their hands. Instantly, they let go embarrassingly and let out a sound of confusion. Hank: Okay, class, I will now collect your homework. Fanboy/Kyle: HUH? background splits to three collums, with Kyle on the left, Chum Chum in the center, and Fanboy on the right. Fanboy/Chum Chum/Kyle: HOMEWORK?!? stare at Kyle's wand and put on cheesy smiles. Cut to Kyle's wand as it fires. Kyle: Oh, Scrivener Elf? Elf appears in a bathtub Scrivener Elf: Oh, I just lit my bath candles! Hank: Homework. Homework. Homework. a pink sheet This isn't homework, it's some sort of a note. main 3 look on, super-excited '' '''Hank:' Ohh. "Saving kittens...from an oil spill"?! crying You're excused from last night's homework. gives him another note "And the kittens had puppies -- in an avalanche"?! bawling You -- you don't have to do homework for the rest of the week! main 3 give each other a two-thumbs up Hank: I need a moment! nose loudly lunch, the boys are wearing space helmets Lunch Lady Cram: offscreen What do you mean you need... to frame her extra pudding? Kyle: Read the note. a note in her face Lunch Lady Cram: Ohh, six-month mission to Mars? Such bravery! Wait! Take a lock of my hair! reaches into the pot next to her and produces a ball of glop, which the boys look at disgustingly. french class... Madame LaVache: Un, deux, trois. door opens, and F&C come in on go-karts. Madame LaVache: Sacre bleu! race all over class Madame LaVache: Stop! races by in a go-kart of his own and puts a note in her face, she reads it. Madame LaVache:Très bon! waves a flag, and Kyle zooms off. of Hank Hank: Well, if the President of the United States took the time to write it, who am I to disobey? to frame him in an arena made up by the surrounded desks. Okay, bring on the bear! bear emerges as the kids cheer Hank: You feel lucky, punk?!? fights the bear Fanboy/Chum Chum/Kyle: Simultaneously Good job! Yay! Wooowoooo! of montage the Fanlair, Fanboy and Kyle share cupcakes while Chum Chum continues to bounce on his springs Chum Chum: Ha ha, I still can't believe Mr. Mufflin bought that note about us all having low blood sugar. Kyle: mouth full Say what you will,close-up but that man can bake a mean cupcake. cupcake and burps Fanboy: cupcake, which falls out of his head flap So, shall we get a jump on tomorrow's notes? Kyle: Let's do! fires his wand, which makes Scrivener Elf appear and dance the Carmen Miranda. He stops and sees the main 3 shocked, but Chum Chum is pleased Scrivener Elf: Eh, it's complicated. to the quartet on the couch, Chum Chum has grabbed a camera out of nowhere. Scrivener Elf: What'll you have? on Fanboy Fanboy: Hmm, well, first, Chum Chum's gonna need a note to get out of art class. He doesn't want to make a paper-mache donkey. to Chum Chum, he has ditched his camera and is now holding said project. Chum Chum: half-omniously Their eyes follow you. eyes of the donkey turn to face Chum Chum, which startles him. As he turns his towards it, it returns to normal. Back to full couch view, Chum Chum tosses the donkey away. Fanboy: Let's see...we'll also want to get out of gym class, of course. And we'd also like to blow off math and history. And, oh, what the heck, you know what? Throw in social studies. Scrivener Elf: I don't think I can fit all that on one note. Kyle: So put it on many notes. Scrivener Elf's nose Ah-doy! wider shot shows that all three boys left the couch. They laugh. Chum Chum: Good one, Kyle. start to leave Scrivener Elf: Hey, see the pad? One note left. stop and come back in reverse Fanboy: Only one? How did that happen? Scrivener Elf: Are you serious? You guys blow through notes like an orchestra! Look what you did to my scrivening hand! You're on your own. nose, disappears Kyle: Grr! Scrivener Elf, you get back here at once! Ah, the impudence! Fanboy: One note left. We'll have to use it wisely. to sneeze Kyle: Don't you dare. Think. think. What is the perfect note? Chum Chum: Oh, I got it! How about, "please excuse us from all school forever"? Kyle: Ooh, brazen. up But that's its charm. close-up of the note, we see a pen write an "N". Kyle: offscreen By using my left hand and a windsor grip, now see him, wearing a loupe and writing the note I do believe I've disguised my penmanship. There. Flawless. Now to let the ink dry. Fanboy: Oh! I have just the thing! out a fan Kyle: gasps NO! DON'T! fan turns on, and the note flies Our precious note! eyes follow the note as it flies above them. It starts to hit the fan, then stops as they are relieved. But the note flies in the back of the fan and becomes notefetti Chum Chum: Yay! confetti! Happy Birthday, Kyle! a blower, but Kyle blows the other end inflating his head Kyle: Grr! Fanboy: terrified Eh-heh...Cupcake...? Kyle: You idiot! looks at wand Wait a minute. Why didn't I think of this sooner? I'll simply conjure more notes. arms and holds his wand high I command thee, come hither...NOTES! wand appear Fanboy: Uh, those are newts. Kyle: Notes! appear Chum Chum: Ugh, woah! Gnats! Kyle: Notes! capture them Fanboy: Uh... Kyle: Nets, I know. to the Fanlair exterior. Kyle: inside Notes. roof pops up and smoke flies out in return. Dissolve to night. Kyle: inside Notes. roof spring and smoke burst. Dissolve to sunrise. Kyle: inside Notes. roof spring and smoke burst. to Fanboy still in his net; now peanuts surround him. Fanboy: Mmm, good nuts, Kyle. to Kyle, also covered in nuts, he continues offscreen. How are the notes coming? Kyle: I can't concentrate with these gnats in my face. gnats briefly fly off Phooey! bell rings in the distance, Fanboy pokes his head out of the net Fanboy: The school bell! we're late again! Kyle: too has his head sticking out If only we weren't trapped in these nets. Chum Chum: Why don't we use this? up an axe Kyle: Where did you get that? Chum Chum: head out When you conjured those knights. we see the knights Kyle conjured Hi-yah! fall to the floor Kyle: frantic We're tardy again, and we don't have a note! Fanboy: Kyle, relax. We've got all the note we need right here! he says this, he holds up the notefetti. school... Hank: A note, huh? the taped-up note and reads it "Please...excuse...Fan...Kyle...Chum...from Mr. Mufflin's class...forever. Flee-bee-pee-nih-nee-nee-mer-cue-leh." Well, this seems to be in order. Chum Chum and Kyle giggle Hank: Fan-Kyle-Chum! Fankylechum: Present! Chum Chum and Kyle look on, horrified. Fankylechum walks up to Mr. Mufflin Hank: Yup. Looks like you're free to go! Fankylechum: Thank you! Now I can play recess forever! leaves. Fanboy, Chum Chum and Kyle's jaws drop Hank: offscreen Now, you three! to him Where's your note? to them just from behind. Fanboy: Just stay cool and let me handle -- Kyle: It was those two! They forced me to write those fake notes! The whole ordeal was very taxing. Hank: Fake notes? FAKE NOTES?!? Fanboy: Well, technically they were real notes, just with fake stuff written on them. Hank: You mean those kitten-puppies weren't in danger at all? You boys are going to have to make up all that work you got out of... starts to back away, but Fanboy brings him back Fanboy: Oh, yes, of course, Mr. Mufflin. That's just what we'll do. Hank: DURING SPRING BREAK!!! glares at them evily. The main 3 are horrified and discouraged now see everyone bouncing on spring shoes, as it is Spring Break. We see them having fun. Pan to the boys at the window, sadly watching them while they work Chum Chum: Those are our springs. Fanboy/Chum Chum/Kyle: sigh Hank: off-camera Back to work! duck down while Kyle closes the window. Scrivener Elf bounces by and puts up a sign reading "THE END", and bounces off. Snap to black. Category:Transcripts